Thursday, November 4, 2010

Anti-socialite

I’ve known for quite some time that I’m a bit of an anti-socialite. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against socialites, I’m just not one myself.

It used to be that I avoided social settings to avoid the numbskullery that usually goes on at these things. That and most of the dumb fuckery as well. I just cannot do social. Mostly because social events are made up of small talk, and as I found out years ago, I have a malformed small talk gland. I cannot talk to strangers about the weather, the crime or house prices.

All of yesterday I was mulling over an invite I received for an event. An event I would have had to attend alone. I have never been a huge fan of going anywhere alone. Always feeling that I stick out like a sore thumb.

It’s easy enough to say that I will know the person that invited me, but it’s not always quite that simple. Yes, I will know the person that invited me. Flipside of that coin is that the person that invited me will also know everyone else that they invited. And being the inviter, they would have to spend equal time with everyone that they invited. And, as with most invitations passed my way, I could only imagine that the majority of inviter’s other invitees will also know each other.

Now, yesterday a new “thing” manifested itself. It wasn’t just an absolute blind hatred of social events, but the very thought that I have to be in the company of people I don’t know sent me into a paroxysm of fear.

I have no idea really where this fear came from. Maybe I’ve just been to one too many birthday parties where I was the one standing around feeling spare. I usually end up feeling a bit like a pork chop at a Muslim wedding, and it’s not a feeling I particularly like.

I saw a shrink once that said I lack social skills. I don’t think it’s just a “lack” any more. I’m in a negative balance when it comes to social skills. I just cannot for the life of me do it. If I could avoid most, if not all, social events for the rest of my life I can die a happy man.

However, sadly, I cannot. Having married to someone that is a bit more social than I am and her coming from a family far, far more social than I can ever dream to be. Therefore certain social events I’ll never get away from.

Most people meeting me for the first time offline are usually in for a rather big shock. I’m only funny online. Offline I’m really a bit beige. The only way I could be more beige was if I dressed in tweed.

1 comment:

Arianwen said...

*chuckles*

I know that fear of social situations. Which is normally why I get drunk/high/both. After which I make a complete and utter fool of myself, thus cancelling out any repeat invites. Hehe.