Tuesday, April 26, 2011

To Breed Or Not To Breed

That is the question.
Since the day we’ve gotten married, people have been asking us when we are planning to breed. Telling people that we want to wait some time before spawning seems to have no effect.
People don’t seem to actually care what it is that we want. It seems to be terribly important for couples to spawn once the wedding ring is on the finger. However, try as I might, I just don’t see the importance.
In all honesty though, I am enjoying my life as it is right now to want to change it for a child. Once you have a child, or many, life changes. It becomes a non-stop merry-go-round of parenty things. Birthday parties, school plays, parents evenings, first days of school and last days of school.
Then with my luck, I’d probably end up with an outdoorsy kind of child. Then it will be camping and fishing trips just to completely fuck me over.
Admittedly my life isn’t all that full. It mostly consists of sitting on the couch and smoking. With the occasional drinking binges thrown in for good measure. But it is my life and I want to enjoy it as I see fit. There is also the occasional, spur of the moment road trips, coffee runs and movie outings which will now all have to be planned with military precision so as to have a baby sitter available.
However, all these people putting that teeniest bit of pressure to produce offspring tend to forget one thing: We have to pay for it. Everybody wants us to breed, but no one particularly wants to share the financial costs of it all. Never mind the time it takes to raise one. None of these people will be there at 2 AM to change a diaper, feed and burp. Nope. That will all come down to the two of us.
Not to mention that children are a bad return on investment. Every month for the next 18 years we’ve got to shell out hundreds and thousands of Rand. Then after paying all of these thousands every month for 18 years, you get zero return.
If I’m going to be expected to deposit into a fund for 18 years, I would prefer to get better than zero return.